Well, I've started work. Yee-fuckin-ha. Actually it's not that bad. Much more civilized than the last job. I'm actually getting home by 6pm!
Halifax feels good. It's a familar city and I feel comfortable here. The people are friendly, the food is good, the girls are pretty... that said, I've noticed how hard it is for me to try to connect with women. I'm so out of practice (not that I was ever any good at it to start with) and I'm just stumped, resigned to the present situation, convinced that this is the way it is to be. Not embracing but accepting with a dark fatalism that that's the way it is to be. I dunno, I'm not getting down about it, honest I'm not, but I do realize that I'm 37 and things are most likely not going to change, no matter how much I wish they could. Hell, I don't even really know how to try. My social arts with the ladies are sorrowly lacking. Like many other things in my life that I wish I could do, but I know I'm incapable of doing, this is one of them. I've wasted too much energy over the years with only heartbreak to show for it. I don't think I'm even capable of falling in love anymore.
Apologies for this posting being a downer. With friends all married and other friends getting married, or all coupled up, it's just been on my mind a lot. And before you think it: I'm not looking for sympathy. Just waxing philosophically on the place of this stumblebum in all this hullabaloo and what he's capable of anymore ...
Here's what to expect over the next couple weeks: dumb tourist shots, history lessons, impressions of the city, movie reviews, etc. I'll smile for the next posting, honest.
The Stand In
2 days ago
i am the same way. at least you have a good circle of friends. i do not. i can count mine on one hand and still have fingers left.
ReplyDeleteyou have much more than i do.
When it comes to women - practice makes perfect. Like anything - you stop doing it, you stop knowing how to do it.
ReplyDeleteThat's one reason I came back down here . . .